Saturday, December 22, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
- Two IT guys were talking in a bar after work. "Guess what," says the first IT guy, "yesterday, I met this gorgeous blonde in a bar."
"What did you do?" says the other IT guy.
"Well, I invited her over to my place, we had a couple of drinks, we got into the mood and then she suddenly asked me to take all her clothes off."
"You're kidding me!" says the second IT guy.
"So I took her miniskirt off, and then I lifted her up and put her on my desk next to my new laptop."
"Really? You've got a new laptop?"
Thursday, November 10, 2005
I heard the story of a woman who had finished shopping and returned to her car. She found four men inside the car. She dropped her shopping bags, drew a handgun, and screamed, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car." Those men did not wait for a second invitation; they got outand ran like crazy.
The woman, somewhat shaken, loaded her shopping bags and then got into the car. But no matter how she tried, she could not get her key into the ignition. Then it dawned on her: her car was parked four or five spaces away! She loaded her grocery bags into her own car and then drove to the police station to turn herself in. The desk sergeant to whom she told the story nearly fell off his chair laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four men were reporting a carjacking by an old woman with thick glasses and curly white hair, less than five feet tall, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.
You see, she thought it was her car, but it really belonged to someone else. We think our lives are our own, but they really belong to God.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Sjúklingurin: - 82 ár.
Læknin:- 82 ár. Hvussu í allari víðu verð kann tað bera til? Tú hevur eina heilsu sum ein 60 ára gamal! Hvat er loynidómurin?
Sjúklingurin:- Jú sært tú, hetta skyldast eini avtalu sum eg og konan gjørdu tá vit giftust. Hon lovaði at um hon bleiv svøk onkran dagin, so skuldi hon vera í køkinum líka til tað var yvirstaðið, og eg lovaði at um eg bleiv óður í høvdinum, so skuldi eg fara útum til tað var yvirstaðið.
Læknin:- Hatta skilji eg als ikki! Hvussu kann handan avtalan hava naka við tína heilsu at gera?
Sjúklingurin:- Jú sært tú - grundin er, at eg havi liva eitt heldur langt uttandura lív!!!